Dear Alie Beaner,
You are my child. You are my world. You are everything to me. I wish you love, health and happiness, all the days of your life. Life is a journey full of surprises and endless possibilities. Let these ten lessons be my gift to you. Take my hand and let me show you the way.
Knowledge is Power
Never stop learning. Take pleasure in reading, writing, listening and sharing a little every day. Having an active mind is something you never want to lose!
Work Hard
Having the drive and determination to complete a task makes you a winner from the start. Rolling up your sleeves, putting in your dues and trying your very best will take you where you want to go.
Have Fun
Find enjoyment in all you do. Be positive, attitude is everything. Having a carefree, laid-back personality helps you to relax and enjoy all that life has to offer. Don't sweat the small stuff!
Love
Learn the power of unconditional love. Love yourself, other people, animals and your environment. Have compassion for all those around you. Life is nothing without love!
Independence
Be self-sufficient. Learn to take care of yourself and make your own decisions. Relying on others to get through life should be helpful, not a requirement.
Creativity
Learn to "think outside the box". Don't be a follower, be a leader. Use your imagination. Be your own person. Great things come to those who choose the road less traveled.
Be Brave
Success comes to those who take a leap of faith. Just do it. Take the plunge. Many people are crippled by fear and fail to reach their full potential. Be willing to take risks in order to achieve your goals.
Save Money
Whether we like it or not, money makes the world go round. Financial security can really give you peace of mind and a better quality of life. Avoid living your life in the shadow of debt.
Learn to Compromise
Compromise is the key to any lasting relationship. Whether you are dealing with family, friends or business partners, you must learn the art of "meeting in the middle". In life you don't always get your way.
Follow Your Dreams
No one knows what you desire in life but yourself. Never give up on your dreams. Anything is possible. Follow your heart. Be the "Little Engine That Could".
Alie, your whole life is still ahead of you. Live your life the very best way you can. Take into consideration the choices I have mad, the good and the bad and try to apply my lifes lessons to your own situation. I know you must have 1000 questions and thoughts going on in your head in regards to what and how we as a whole are going to deal with the little one you have in your belly. I want you to know that I am here for you. I will support you in your choices and try my best to help you in anyway I can.
I am NOT trying to push my thoughts and feelings on you, but I want to let you know you have options.
I wanted to share this site with you , its an OPEN ADOPTION site and it came recommended to me from a friend who just recently went through the same situation we are going though. It looks like a wonderful option and I even like some of the families I am sending links to the ones who stuck out to me.
Take my advice for what it is LOVE, Support and Advice..
I love you more then you may ever know!
Love Mommy
http://www.adoptionhelp.org/index.html
http://www.family-forever.com/web/do/site/home?ID=299471
http://www.lacroixadoption.com/
http://www.ericandjerry.com/
http://www.bobandcorinne.com/
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Letter to my daughter
Posted by Forever .... Andie at 1:24 PM 0 comments
Thursday, February 4, 2010
reflections of my son...
So 17 yrs ago I had a beautiful baby boy. I named him Tommy. Life seemed great; I was young and very much in love. I just had no clue my husband did not know how to love and would never love me the way I loved him no matter how much I wanted it or what I did.
Over the years my relationship with my husband got more and more stressful and very violent. Yes he hit me, he hit me a lot, and he beat me. But the day that sticks out the most is fathers day, they day I realized he would NEVR love me and the day my world came crashing in around me. My husband shot a gun at me that day 6 times and pistol whipped me while I held our son in my arms and protected them... that is also the day I realized that I loved my son enough to give him a better life a fighting chance at stability and oppertunites I could not offer at my young age of 21.
I do not regret my choices , giving my son up for adoption was the HARDEST thing I have ever done and one of 2 things that I can say are truly selfless…
This song is for him... as sometimes love just isn’t enough…..
“I am glad to have you back n my life, but I am so unsure of where it is going to lead us or if I will ever be the mom I want to be or could be... or the one that you need.”
Love,
Mom
KISSES IN THE WIND
I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.
I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.
Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.
Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.
Posted by Forever .... Andie at 1:02 PM 0 comments
Friday, January 29, 2010
Schmidts Syndrome... an other Notch in my Health !
So this past Monday the 25th I got a call from my Endocrine with the rest of my Lab and test results... at that time he told me my tests came back showing postive results for Celiacs and Schmidts( a type 2 form of Addion's diease) . I have had a few appointments made with soem area specialest to discuss my treament options nad what the course will be.
I have been looking for info on Schmidts and I found this out and I have to say WOW.
This is so ME!
Schmidt's Syndrome:
Schmidt’s syndrome is an autoimmune polyglandular syndrome first used to describe patients with both Addison’s disease and Hashimoto’s thyroiditis (autoimmune hypothyroidism). ( I have Hashimoto's and have been getting treated for it for over 8 yrs with NO luck, my levels are still LOW)
Today, the term Schmidt’s syndrome is used synonymously with autoimmune polyglandular syndrome type II to describe conditions of adrenal insufficiency occurring in conjunction with one or more of the following conditions: diabetes( I have this too) , Hashimoto’s thyroiditis( I have this), hypoparathyroidism (parathyroid hormone deficiency) ( yup I have this too) , or gonadal failure.
Who is Affected?
Although people of any age may be affected, Schmidt’s syndrome typically has an adult onset, primarily emerging at around age 30. Females are affected more often than males. Researchers suspect that genetic susceptibility, primarily an association with HLA B8, is responsible for the development of Schmidt’s syndrome. It’s also not unusual for more than one immediate family member to be affected.
Symptoms
Because different glands are affected in different people, the symptoms vary depending on the glands affected and the severity of the hormone deficiency or excess and the degree of glandular atrophy. Some patients with Schmidt’s syndrome have stimulating TSH receptor antibodies(also known as thyroid stimulating immunoglobulins or TSI) and initially present with symptoms and signs of hyperthyroidism ( I have this issue and have had it for over 8 years!)
I have unexplained pain that at times is debilitating, I am ALWAYS tired, I forget things, I have awful mood swings, I am gaining weight( LOTS) I am always cold, my hands and feet go numb... Related ConditionsPeople with Schmidt’s syndrome may also develop vitiligo, type 2 diabetes, myasthenia gravis, pure red cell aplasia, pernicious anemia, Graves’ disease, alopecia, sarcoidosis, or immunoglobulin A deficiency, which is commonly seen in celiac disease.Schmidt syndrome can also be associated with interstitial myositis, an inflammatory myopathy, which can be pathologically distinguished from idiopathic polymyositis and inclusion body myositis (IBM).
Diagnosis
Diagnosis is made by detecting adrenal antibodies along with the characteristic autoantibodies and/or hormone levels associated with autoimmune thyroid disease, diabetes, hypoarathyroidism or gonadal failure.
So this describes me and whats going on pretty dam well. I am just wondering why I have seen so many Dr.'s and this Endocrine was the first to look at other underlining issues other then just continue to treat my thyroid with not much success.. ?
Posted by Forever .... Andie at 7:50 AM 0 comments
Monday, January 25, 2010
Bad News Monday ...
This morning I got a call from Endo saying they got the rest of my lab results in and I have tested positive for a type of Addison’s as well as Celiac disease…
SO what does this mean, I am not 100% sure to be honest. I know I am going to have to modify my diet as people with Celiacs have to have a gluten free diet. I am not sure what the course of action will be for the Addisons.
Here is some info on both if you are interested….
Celiac Disease
Celiac disease is a digestive disease that damages the small intestine and interferes with absorption of nutrients from food. People who have celiac disease cannot tolerate gluten, a protein in wheat, rye, and barley. Gluten is found mainly in foods but may also be found in everyday products such as medicines, vitamins, and lip balms.
When people with celiac disease eat foods or use products containing gluten, their immune system responds by damaging or destroying villi—the tiny, fingerlike protrusions lining the small intestine. Villi normally allow nutrients from food to be absorbed through the walls of the small intestine into the bloodstream. Without healthy villi, Celiac disease is both a disease of malabsorption—meaning nutrients are not absorbed properly—and an abnormal immune reaction to gluten. Celiac disease is also known as celiac sprue, nontropical sprue, and gluten-sensitive enteropathy. Celiac disease is genetic, meaning it runs in families. Sometimes the disease is triggered—or becomes active for the first time—after surgery, pregnancy, childbirth, viral infection, or severe emotional stress. a person becomes malnourished, no matter how much food one eats.
What are the symptoms of celiac disease?
Symptoms of celiac disease vary from person to person. Symptoms may occur in the digestive system or in other parts of the body. Digestive symptoms are more common in infants and young children and may include
abdominal bloating and pain
chronic diarrhea
vomiting
constipation
pale, foul-smelling, or fatty stool
weight loss/or gain in my case due to the Addison’s and Thyroid issues I have.
Irritability is another common symptom in children. Malabsorption of nutrients during the years when nutrition is critical to a child’s normal growth and development can result in other problems such as failure to thrive in infants, delayed growth and short stature, delayed puberty, and dental enamel defects of the permanent teeth.
Adults are less likely to have digestive symptoms and may instead have one or more of the following:
unexplained iron-deficiency anemia
fatigue
bone or joint pain
arthritis
bone loss or osteoporosis
depression or anxiety
tingling numbness in the hands and feet
seizures
missed menstrual periods
infertility or recurrent miscarriage
canker sores inside the mouth
an itchy skin rash called dermatitis herpetiformis
People with celiac disease may have no symptoms but can still develop complications of the disease over time. Long-term complications include malnutrition—which can lead to anemia, osteoporosis, and miscarriage, among other problems—liver diseases, and cancers of the intestine.
The Gluten-free Diet
A gluten-free diet means not eating foods that contain wheat, rye, and barley. The foods and products made from these grains should also be avoided. In other words, a person with celiac disease should not eat most grain, pasta, cereal, and many processed foods.
Despite these restrictions, people with celiac disease can eat a well-balanced diet with a variety of foods. They can use potato, rice, soy, amaranth, quinoa, buckwheat, or bean flour instead of wheat flour. They can buy gluten-free bread, pasta, and other products from stores that carry organic foods, or order products from special food companies. Gluten-free products are increasingly available from mainstream stores.
“Plain” meat, fish, rice, fruits, and vegetables do not contain gluten, so people with celiac disease can freely eat these foods. In the past, people with celiac disease were advised not to eat oats. New evidence suggests that most people can safely eat small amounts of oats, as long as the oats are not contaminated with wheat gluten during processing. People with celiac disease should work closely with their health care team when deciding whether to include oats in their diet. Examples of other foods that are safe to eat and those that are not are provided in the table.
The gluten-free diet requires a completely new approach to eating. Newly diagnosed people and their families may find support groups helpful as they learn to adjust to a new way of life. People with celiac disease must be cautious about what they buy for lunch at school or work, what they purchase at the grocery store, what they eat at restaurants or parties, and what they grab for a snack. Eating out can be a challenge. When in doubt about a menu item, a person with celiac disease should ask the waiter or chef about ingredients and preparation or if a gluten-free menu is available.
Gluten is also used in some medications. People with celiac disease should ask a pharmacist if prescribed medications contain wheat. Because gluten is sometimes used as an additive in unexpected products—such as lipstick and play dough—reading product labels is important. If the ingredients are not listed on the label, the manufacturer should provide a list upon request. With practice, screening for gluten becomes second nature.
The Gluten-free Diet: Some Examples
In 2006, the American Dietetic Association updated its recommendations for a gluten-free diet. The following chart is based on the 2006 recommendations. This list is not complete, so people with celiac disease should discuss gluten-free food choices with a dietitian or physician who specializes in celiac disease. People with celiac disease should always read food ingredient lists carefully to make sure the food does not contain gluten.
Allowed Foods
amarantharrowroot
legumes
rice
Foods To Avoid
wheat
including einkorn, emmer, spelt, kamut
wheat starch, wheat bran, wheat germ, cracked wheat, hydrolyzed wheat protein
barleyryetriticale (a cross between wheat and rye)
Other Wheat Products
bromated flour
graham flour
self-rising flour
French fries
seasoned tortilla chips
Addison's disease and hypothyroidism (Schmidt's syndrome)
Adrenal insufficiency is an endocrine—or hormonal—disorder that occurs when the adrenal glands do not produce enough of certain hormones. The adrenal glands are located just above the kidneys. Adrenal insufficiency can be primary or secondary.
Primary adrenal insufficiency, also called Addison’s disease, occurs when the adrenal glands are damaged and cannot produce enough of the hormone cortisol and often the hormone aldosterone. Addison’s disease affects one to four of every 100,000 people, in all age groups and both sexes.1
Secondary adrenal insufficiency occurs when the pituitary gland—a bean-sized organ in the brain—fails to produce enough adrenocorticotropin (ACTH), a hormone that stimulates the adrenal glands to produce cortisol. If ACTH output is too low, cortisol production drops. Eventually, the adrenal glands can shrink due to lack of ACTH stimulation. Secondary adrenal insufficiency is much more common than Addison’s disease.
What do adrenal hormones do?
Cortisol
Cortisol belongs to a class of hormones called glucocorticoids, which affect almost every organ and tissue in the body. Cortisol’s most important job is to help the body respond to stress. Among its many vital tasks, cortisol helps
maintain blood pressure and cardiovascular function
slow the immune system’s inflammatory response
maintain levels of glucose—a form of sugar used for energy—in the blood
regulate the metabolism of proteins, carbohydrates, and fats
The amount of cortisol produced by the adrenals is precisely balanced. Like many other hormones, cortisol is regulated by the brain’s hypothalamus and the pituitary gland. First, the hypothalamus releases a “trigger” hormone called corticotropin-releasing hormone (CRH) that signals the pituitary gland. The pituitary responds by sending out ACTH, which in turn stimulates the adrenal glands. The adrenal glands respond by producing cortisol. Completing the cycle, cortisol then signals back to both the pituitary and hypothalamus to decrease these trigger hormones.
Posted by Forever .... Andie at 11:20 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Fairy's, Nymphs and Pixies have taken over!

When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies. And now when every new baby is born its first laugh becomes a fairy. So there ought to be one fairy for every boy or girl."
She's one of those soppy girls, riddled from head to foot with whimsy. She holds the view that the stars are God's daisy chain, that rabbits are gnomes in attendance on the Fairy Queen, and that every time a fairy blows its wee nose a baby is born, which, as we know, is not the case. She's a drooper."
Posted by Forever .... Andie at 9:11 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
To My Nicest Thing....
Posted by Forever .... Andie at 9:17 AM 0 comments
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Big is beautiful too
I know that this collection of photography got substantial press when it was published in 2007, but it is worth revisiting. Leonard Nimoy is, of course, best known for playing Mr. Spock on the original Star Treck series. But the actor has always engaged in photography as well. His second collection of published photographs, titled The Full Body Project, features images of plus-size women in the nude. The photographs are respectful and sexy (not an easy balance to achieve under any circumstances). Being a BIG girl I want to celebrate the beauty that is me and the art of Mr. Nimoy!
Posted by Forever .... Andie at 11:52 AM 0 comments

