Letter to my daughter

Dear Alie Beaner,

You are my child. You are my world. You are everything to me. I wish you love, health and happiness, all the days of your life. Life is a journey full of surprises and endless possibilities. Let these ten lessons be my gift to you. Take my hand and let me show you the way.

Knowledge is Power
Never stop learning. Take pleasure in reading, writing, listening and sharing a little every day. Having an active mind is something you never want to lose!

Work Hard
Having the drive and determination to complete a task makes you a winner from the start. Rolling up your sleeves, putting in your dues and trying your very best will take you where you want to go.

Have Fun
Find enjoyment in all you do. Be positive, attitude is everything. Having a carefree, laid-back personality helps you to relax and enjoy all that life has to offer. Don't sweat the small stuff!

Love
Learn the power of unconditional love. Love yourself, other people, animals and your environment. Have compassion for all those around you. Life is nothing without love!

Independence
Be self-sufficient. Learn to take care of yourself and make your own decisions. Relying on others to get through life should be helpful, not a requirement.

Creativity
Learn to "think outside the box". Don't be a follower, be a leader. Use your imagination. Be your own person. Great things come to those who choose the road less traveled.

Be Brave
Success comes to those who take a leap of faith. Just do it. Take the plunge. Many people are crippled by fear and fail to reach their full potential. Be willing to take risks in order to achieve your goals.

Save Money
Whether we like it or not, money makes the world go round. Financial security can really give you peace of mind and a better quality of life. Avoid living your life in the shadow of debt.

Learn to Compromise
Compromise is the key to any lasting relationship. Whether you are dealing with family, friends or business partners, you must learn the art of "meeting in the middle". In life you don't always get your way.

Follow Your Dreams
No one knows what you desire in life but yourself. Never give up on your dreams. Anything is possible. Follow your heart. Be the "Little Engine That Could".

Alie, your whole life is still ahead of you. Live your life the very best way you can. Take into consideration the choices I have mad, the good and the bad and try to apply my lifes lessons to your own situation. I know you must have 1000 questions and thoughts going on in your head in regards to what and how we as a whole are going to deal with the little one you have in your belly. I want you to know that I am here for you. I will support you in your choices and try my best to help you in anyway I can.
I am NOT trying to push my thoughts and feelings on you, but I want to let you know you have options.
I wanted to share this site with you , its an OPEN ADOPTION site and it came recommended to me from a friend who just recently went through the same situation we are going though. It looks like a wonderful option and I even like some of the families I am sending links to the ones who stuck out to me.
Take my advice for what it is LOVE, Support and Advice..
I love you more then you may ever know!
Love Mommy
http://www.adoptionhelp.org/index.html


http://www.family-forever.com/web/do/site/home?ID=299471

http://www.lacroixadoption.com/

http://www.ericandjerry.com/

http://www.bobandcorinne.com/

reflections of my son...

So 17 yrs ago I had a beautiful baby boy. I named him Tommy. Life seemed great; I was young and very much in love. I just had no clue my husband did not know how to love and would never love me the way I loved him no matter how much I wanted it or what I did.

Over the years my relationship with my husband got more and more stressful and very violent. Yes he hit me, he hit me a lot, and he beat me. But the day that sticks out the most is fathers day, they day I realized he would NEVR love me and the day my world came crashing in around me. My husband shot a gun at me that day 6 times and pistol whipped me while I held our son in my arms and protected them... that is also the day I realized that I loved my son enough to give him a better life a fighting chance at stability and oppertunites I could not offer at my young age of 21.

I do not regret my choices , giving my son up for adoption was the HARDEST thing I have ever done and one of 2 things that I can say are truly selfless…

This song is for him... as sometimes love just isn’t enough…..

“I am glad to have you back n my life, but I am so unsure of where it is going to lead us or if I will ever be the mom I want to be or could be... or the one that you need.”

Love,

Mom

KISSES IN THE WIND

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.