reflections of my son...

So 17 yrs ago I had a beautiful baby boy. I named him Tommy. Life seemed great; I was young and very much in love. I just had no clue my husband did not know how to love and would never love me the way I loved him no matter how much I wanted it or what I did.

Over the years my relationship with my husband got more and more stressful and very violent. Yes he hit me, he hit me a lot, and he beat me. But the day that sticks out the most is fathers day, they day I realized he would NEVR love me and the day my world came crashing in around me. My husband shot a gun at me that day 6 times and pistol whipped me while I held our son in my arms and protected them... that is also the day I realized that I loved my son enough to give him a better life a fighting chance at stability and oppertunites I could not offer at my young age of 21.

I do not regret my choices , giving my son up for adoption was the HARDEST thing I have ever done and one of 2 things that I can say are truly selfless…

This song is for him... as sometimes love just isn’t enough…..

“I am glad to have you back n my life, but I am so unsure of where it is going to lead us or if I will ever be the mom I want to be or could be... or the one that you need.”

Love,

Mom

KISSES IN THE WIND

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.